things that never should've happened, vol. 1

Scene:

Black Eyed Peas song-writing lair, circa 2007.

will.i.am (member of the differently.abled.punctuation. hall of fame) stands and gasps, "I've got it!" and saunters up to giant white dry erase board.

and writes:

"my humps. my humps. my lovely lady lumps. my my humps. my humps my humps my humps."

Drops pen to floor, turns around with arms spread and a giant smile.

Applause. Fergie stands and yells "Genius!"

And...scene.