I found myself longing for the places where I've come from today. Stuck in the wonder of LA traffic with the smoke from the fires in the hills wafting all over the Hollywood drivel driving their Hummers and Bentleys, I just really missed the Midwest. There's just a lot of artificial out here, a lot of fake, a lot of show- an entire city and culture that permeates the idea that the outsides, the facade are more important than what people are made of. The values seem to be the opposite of what I grew up with in the Midwest...and today was one of those days where I really missed it.
The other part is missing the people I grew up with- it's been so long since I've been home and seen them. And having had some drastic changes at 21, my minnesota peeps feel like another set of people I grew up with...another maturing experience I suppose.
Started class tonight, and man do I miss the ignorance of youth. That ignorance was power; it was grace; it was invincibility. Looking back on my college experience- I really wasn't ready; couldn't handle the responsibilities that success required, couldn't get my shit together. Now I feel like I missed an experience that so many others get to have...and today, I felt a little sorry for myself. But one thing was realized- when I was 18, I didn't know shit about shit. Now? At least I have some life experience. And getting older too... that's another story. Tomorrow is another day, and life, truly, is good. All a matter of perspective.
I miss the wilderness. Excited to get to Kentucky and Tennessee in the middle of this month.
Listening to Wilco on the way home, and this lyric struck home:
Deep in my heart
I'll know it's right
By the bed, by the light that you read by
By the time that I get home to say good night
I need to see you again
On the dark side my friend...
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