Far, far away; from those city lights...

I found myself longing for the places where I've come from today. Stuck in the wonder of LA traffic with the smoke from the fires in the hills wafting all over the Hollywood drivel driving their Hummers and Bentleys, I just really missed the Midwest. There's just a lot of artificial out here, a lot of fake, a lot of show- an entire city and culture that permeates the idea that the outsides, the facade are more important than what people are made of. The values seem to be the opposite of what I grew up with in the Midwest...and today was one of those days where I really missed it.

The other part is missing the people I grew up with- it's been so long since I've been home and seen them. And having had some drastic changes at 21, my minnesota peeps feel like another set of people I grew up with...another maturing experience I suppose.

Started class tonight, and man do I miss the ignorance of youth. That ignorance was power; it was grace; it was invincibility. Looking back on my college experience- I really wasn't ready; couldn't handle the responsibilities that success required, couldn't get my shit together. Now I feel like I missed an experience that so many others get to have...and today, I felt a little sorry for myself. But one thing was realized- when I was 18, I didn't know shit about shit. Now? At least I have some life experience. And getting older too... that's another story. Tomorrow is another day, and life, truly, is good. All a matter of perspective.

I miss the wilderness. Excited to get to Kentucky and Tennessee in the middle of this month.


Listening to Wilco on the way home, and this lyric struck home:

Deep in my heart
I'll know it's right
By the bed, by the light that you read by
By the time that I get home to say good night
I need to see you again
On the dark side my friend...

we're the heirs to a glimmering world

LA is on fire. That picture was taken by a friend of mine in Valley Village, out of the window in his house. It looks practically apocalyptic over here.

It weirds me out that no one here seems to react to this at all. Like, we went to the beach today, and 20 miles away thousands of acres of wilderness are on fire and spreading filth and ash all over the city. The sky is gray, even over here in Santa Monica- and everyone goes about their business. You'd think we'd be more concerned, right? But maybe not. I guess you get used to it. Worlds burning and ending- lives getting destroyed year after year- never thought this was something we'd get used to.

Saw the National last night at the Wiltern in LA. They tore it up, great show.

Some of my favorite lyrics:


Falling out of touch with all my
friends are somewhere getting wasted,
hope they're staying glued together,
I have arms for them.

-the national, green gloves

Odd theories

What if the reason America has gained so much weight is because we've cut down on smoking cigarettes? In the 20s-80s, people smoked like chimneys. Regardless of the health issues caused by smoking, people WERE skinnier, no denying that. So maybe all of the cigarettes were a sort of diet boon- I mean it's totally valid that cigarettes restrict appetite- that's why models, actors and actresses, dancers, etc smoke, right?

So light up, America. Save yourself 10 pounds.



Sarcasm, people, sarcasm.

Things I dislike

Just realized today how much I dislike shaving and wearing socks. I wish I had a more informative post, but that's it. Sorry.

the wire

so i'm writing a blog about "the wire" on my addicton blog (see it here) and I couldn't post this clip there. But this is probably my favorite scene from the whole series, or at least one of them. Check it out:

the lure of the road.

watchin anthony bourdain tonight visiting san francisco and filming his escapades, i felt a familiar draw to the road. there's a song by bright eyes, called "moab," that talks about the phenomenon- "washed under the black tar, buried 'neath my wheels...there's nothing that the road cannot heal." Not that there's much hurt here- but at the same time the draw is there, to explore, to venture out, to move on.

A couple of my friends are taking off to move to colorado just for an adventure; others still live in the town they grew up in and yet have traveled all over the world. for me, taking the leap to california was a great one and i don't regret it at all; however i do wish some days that i could just go off an travel and write about it. me, my bike, a journal and a laptop...there's a secret kind of freedom to that.

and yet so many things i don't want to leave. i guess it comes down to selfishness. that life is always there-- but some of the saddest people i know are the ones who left home and didn't come back. who struck out all alone and ended...all alone. and i don't want that either.

so...on with the adventure. the adventure of life; of bills, of rent, of dogs, of relationships, of jobs, etc. this IS growing up. as much as i want to fight it, i really do love it. just human nature to want to rebel i guess.

tomorrow is another day to live the adventure. the adventure in the small things. the little stuff we let slide by, i let slide by, in day to day life. gratitude. grateful. should be.

last 36

I spent 14 of the last 36 hours in the car going from LA to Marin to PHISH to Marin to LA. And what a wonderful trip. Haven't been to a major lot scene like that in a long time, and I always forget that Phish shows are a different ballgame. This was more mellow than I remember- didn't see anyone running through the lot screaming "I'm on drugs!!!" or anything. Bought my first lot shirt in 6 years- got an "it's all hood" hoodie from a Wharfrat (sober Deadhead) who was running a table. And what a good crowd- wound up seeing the show with like 10 people from Birmingham (including the Fierman kids, which was a riot) and my buddy from high school, Justin Past, who was on a vacation from Chicago. We spoke briefly when he was in LA, and then we both decided on Monday to meet up in Mountain View for the show.

Interesting fact- Google's headquarters is literally across the street from the amphitheater. I was kind of shocked to see that, but I guess if you get stuck writing code till 2 AM, at least you get to hear some live music.

Pictures to come on the next post.

You can buy a copy of the show here, and here's the set list for those who are interested:


SET ONE
Golgi Apparatus, Halley's Comet, Chalk Dust Torture, The Divided Sky, When the Circus Comes, Time Turns Elastic, Ya Mar, Stealing Time from the Faulty Plan, Suzy Greenberg, David Bowie

SET TWO
Backwards Down the Number Line, Down with Disease -> Ambient Jam -> Limb by Limb, Oh Sweet Nothin', Cities -> Maze, Mike's Song -> Simple -> Weekapaug Groove

ENCORE
Let Me Lie, Axis: Bold As Love

Less than 24 hours to Phish at Shoreline

First show since '03.

!!!