Just got back in town...

...and this song is stuck in my head

Dear Chicago,
You'll never guess.
You know the girl you said I'd meet someday?
Well, I've got something to confess.
She picked me up on Friday.
Asked me if she reminded me of you.
I just laughed and lit a cigarette,
Said "that's impossible to do."
My life's gotten simple since.
And it fluctuates so much.
Happy and sad and back again.
I'm not crying out to much.
Think about you all the time.
It's strange and hard to deal.
Think about you lying there.
And those blankets lie so still.
Nothing breathes here in the cold.
Nothing moves or even smiles.
I've been thinking some of suicide.
But there's bars out here for miles.
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted (bad / back)
I think the thing you said was true,
I'm going to die alone and sad.

The wind's feeling real these days.
Yeah, baby, it hurt's me some.
Never thought I'd feel so blue.
New York City, you're almost gone.
I think that I've fallen out of love,
I think I've fallen out of love . . . with you.

very important things to read

To change one's life: 1. Start immediately, 2. Do it flamboyantly, 3. No exceptions.
-William James

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

-John Mayer (as pompous as he is, he writes some good stuff)

state.of.jefferson

Great song by the band Surrogate off the album popular mechanics, my new obsession. very telling and fits the californian mood...

I like the way California smells before a natural disaster, you can always tell when the fire’s coming. Prophets come down from the mountainside, check their breath and start screaming: “better watch your back, ‘cause the fire’s coming”
Nothing burns like a palm tree in the night. Nothing sells quite like sex by candlelight. It’s entertainment in the parlance of our times. We’re all going to float off into space, laughing the night away.
I like the stories that talk about the west coast of Nevada, I’m not sure what it takes to remove a state, but I’ll do some research. All of my friends know the end is near, watch for a pale horse and rider riding on a cloud towards the business center...

Far, far away; from those city lights...

I found myself longing for the places where I've come from today. Stuck in the wonder of LA traffic with the smoke from the fires in the hills wafting all over the Hollywood drivel driving their Hummers and Bentleys, I just really missed the Midwest. There's just a lot of artificial out here, a lot of fake, a lot of show- an entire city and culture that permeates the idea that the outsides, the facade are more important than what people are made of. The values seem to be the opposite of what I grew up with in the Midwest...and today was one of those days where I really missed it.

The other part is missing the people I grew up with- it's been so long since I've been home and seen them. And having had some drastic changes at 21, my minnesota peeps feel like another set of people I grew up with...another maturing experience I suppose.

Started class tonight, and man do I miss the ignorance of youth. That ignorance was power; it was grace; it was invincibility. Looking back on my college experience- I really wasn't ready; couldn't handle the responsibilities that success required, couldn't get my shit together. Now I feel like I missed an experience that so many others get to have...and today, I felt a little sorry for myself. But one thing was realized- when I was 18, I didn't know shit about shit. Now? At least I have some life experience. And getting older too... that's another story. Tomorrow is another day, and life, truly, is good. All a matter of perspective.

I miss the wilderness. Excited to get to Kentucky and Tennessee in the middle of this month.


Listening to Wilco on the way home, and this lyric struck home:

Deep in my heart
I'll know it's right
By the bed, by the light that you read by
By the time that I get home to say good night
I need to see you again
On the dark side my friend...

we're the heirs to a glimmering world

LA is on fire. That picture was taken by a friend of mine in Valley Village, out of the window in his house. It looks practically apocalyptic over here.

It weirds me out that no one here seems to react to this at all. Like, we went to the beach today, and 20 miles away thousands of acres of wilderness are on fire and spreading filth and ash all over the city. The sky is gray, even over here in Santa Monica- and everyone goes about their business. You'd think we'd be more concerned, right? But maybe not. I guess you get used to it. Worlds burning and ending- lives getting destroyed year after year- never thought this was something we'd get used to.

Saw the National last night at the Wiltern in LA. They tore it up, great show.

Some of my favorite lyrics:


Falling out of touch with all my
friends are somewhere getting wasted,
hope they're staying glued together,
I have arms for them.

-the national, green gloves

Odd theories

What if the reason America has gained so much weight is because we've cut down on smoking cigarettes? In the 20s-80s, people smoked like chimneys. Regardless of the health issues caused by smoking, people WERE skinnier, no denying that. So maybe all of the cigarettes were a sort of diet boon- I mean it's totally valid that cigarettes restrict appetite- that's why models, actors and actresses, dancers, etc smoke, right?

So light up, America. Save yourself 10 pounds.



Sarcasm, people, sarcasm.

Things I dislike

Just realized today how much I dislike shaving and wearing socks. I wish I had a more informative post, but that's it. Sorry.